Friday, May 28, 2010

second poem~ That duel with jealousy

Someone is following me,
Yes, it is creepy,
No, I think he is more to stalking.
I’m afraid, but determined
Today I will confront him.

I turn back,
Looking at him, charmingly
Yet my hands are trembling
He is smiling, oh stunning
He comes closer,
Closer and closer,
Whispering to me, the words that enhancing me,
Offering me, the deal that I could not resist,
Seducing me at the edge of the hellhole,
I almost fall down, you know?
I admit you are a great succumbus,
Or maybe a changeling?

I try to give denials and refusals,
I think they would suffice,
Your naked eyes stare at me, sour face
You grab a knife and stab me
You push me to the sea and I have to swim through sick
You sing lullabies and you know that would choke my ears.
I’m half dead
Yet I still win,

I know you better now,
A reincarnation of love and hatred
Honest but cruel.

The first poem..

I walk,
Hope you don’t see me,
Just watch the TV, ignore me
I walk faster,
Really hope you don’t notice me,
Hey, the Simpsons is really entertaining,
Don’t bother me.

Well, now
Your gaze is frightening,
Or is it fascinating?
Oh, no,
I’m busted.

Caged and shackled,
I’m telling you, the wardens are merciless,
I’ve begged for a little compassion,
They smirks , give me no hope.
You come and visit me, grinning,
With full of expectations, waiting,
I’m sorry that I would not succumb,
The confession you seek would never come out,
Your visage then speaks my final sentence.
I smile,
I don’t even know why.

When the memories about me rot,
You forget , careless,
There are golden hands dragging my body out of this filthy place,
Run and run,
With the Pandora Box in my pocket
I believe it would be useful one day.
Run and run
Searching for a new haven.

This is a story of a refugee,
A forgotten one.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The 100 years war - featured article

Lindsey German reviews A Century of Women by Sheila Rowbotham (Viking £20)

The 20th century has already been described in sweeping terms­the American century, the people's century. But whatever else it has been, the changes it has wrought in women's lives are among the most dramatic and far reaching.

At the beginning of the century, middle and upper class women were still regarded as decorative and largely useless appendages to men. Independence in the form of work or higher education was for a tiny minority and was regarded as radical and dangerous. The job of such women was to preside over households run by domestic servants.

Working class women made up this army of servants­it was the biggest single female occupation in 1900. Their lives were hard and, although marriage often meant leaving such work, life in the home was hardly easier. Pregnancy and childbirth were frequent and difficult, contraception almost totally unavailable, abortion illegal and dangerous. Divorce was outside the reach of the poor.

Today, even for working class won in countries like Britain, expectations are for a life which in almost all respects has changed beyond recognition. Women no longer face a lifetime trapped in unhappy marriages. Fertility rates have fallen to such an extent that now one or two children are the norm­and by early next century it is estimated that a fifth of all women will be childless, the vast majority through choice.

Higher education has been opened up to women and this in turn has opened up all sorts of opportunities in their lives. Most importantly, women make up an increasingly significant part of the workforce­nearly half of it in Britain, slightly over half in the US. Women now have access to financial independence on a scale undreamt of 100 years ago.

It was only after the First World War that most households had access to electricity, only in the 1950s and 1960s that most could afford washing machines, fridges or cars. Tampax, bras, make up, trousers, were all either unknown or socially unacceptable in 1900. No women could vote at the beginning of the century; most were not in unions; they had little or no say over public or political life. Women's place was regarded as being in the home.

How did the changes between then and now come about? Women's position has tended to advance in leaps forward. Ideas about women's role and social customs which seemed to stretch back into the far distant past were suddenly challenged by changes in circumstances. In the First World War women entered jobs they had never done before, such as working in munitions factories or conducting buses and trams. The social discontent from before the war spilled over during and after the war in the Glasgow rent strikes, the support for the Russian Revolution in 1917 and the huge strike wave of 1919.

After the war, women tended to be thrown out of the 'men's jobs' but already their work patterns had changed forever. Women would not go back into domestic service. Even in the 1930s at the height of the Depression, when Tory politicians bemoaned the servant shortage, most women could not be persuaded to take up such work. Instead they became part of the growing workforce in the new industries of the south east and west Midlands. They also became clerical workers in large numbers.

In the US the Depression years saw millions of workers lose their jobs as capitalism crashed; but the 1930s was also the decade where the biggest single number of women workers joined the workforce. Male unemployment meant that women were forced onto the labour market in much greater numbers.
This trend was well under way in Britain and the US with the onset of the Second World War, which must rate as the most dramatic change for millions of women in the century. Young single women were conscripted into work or the armed services. They were encouraged to leave their homes and children, and were provided with creches, communal restaurants and even shoppers to buy the rationed food so that they could work as long hours as possible. The huge US wartime economy employed women as shipbuilders and aircraft manufacturers.

Women could do the same as men, it was discovered, and under the same often dangerous conditions. But women who worked like this expected certain freedoms­to be able to earn equal money, to have freedom to socialise, to be free from the constraints of 'feminine' virtues. They were helped by the wartime conditions: excessive care over home working was regarded as less necessary than before the war, clothes were much more utilitarian and practical­no frilly long dresses but short skirts or trousers­and women were positively encouraged to do the things that only a few years earlier were frowned upon.
Attitudes changed: sex before marriage became much more common. Women often lived away from home and family and so developed independent lives. Young women had a freedom that had never before been available, certainly for working class or lower middle class women. My own mother described how on a wartime visit to her uncle in rural East Anglia she was told to get out of the house because she was wearing trousers, red lipstick and nail varnish.
Even the end of the war could not dampen down expectations. Although women were thrown out of many jobs, and encouraged to leave others, by the end of the 1940s women were back at work in unprecedented numbers.
This led to the expansion of higher education, opening up to a layer of women new jobs and increasing expectations. This in turn gave birth to the movement for women's liberation which shook the US and then Britain in the late 1960s and early 1970s.
Sheila Rowbotham, who wrote her first books on history in the early 1970s and can claim to be Britain's best known feminist historian, has written a major book which charts this story. A Century of Women describes women's lives in Britain and the US. There is a strong emphasis on history from below, so we are told about all sorts of women who have never become famous. Events are often described in their own words.

We learn all sorts of fascinating facts­that American women in the Depression shied away from families and children as they faced poverty and insecurity:
'"I don't want to marry. I don't want any children. So they all say. No children. No marriage." Women were buying jellies, suppositories and douches on a mass scale.'
Rowbotham reveals that the new look created by the Parisian couturiers in the late 1940s as a 'feminine' reaction against wartime austerity was not in fact new but an adaptation of the narrow waists and full skirts produced during the war for the wives and mistresses of the German occupiers. She also describes how American GIs in Britain during the war were puzzled at the common British habit of having sex standing up fully clothed in alleys and parks because it was believed pregnancy was impossible this way.

We learn about the class divisions in the suffragette movement­for example, in 1913 when the socialist Sylvia Pankhurst infuriated her mother and sister by allying herself with the locked out Dublin transport workers leading to Sylvia forming the East London Federation of Suffragettes. Class repeatedly rears its head, with descriptions of the very differing conditions between upper class and working class women and of the class struggles which so often involved working class women. So there are the Ford Dagenham machinists fighting for equal pay in the 1960s, the women's auxiliaries in the Flint sit down strikes in 1937, the women strikers in the years leading up to the First World War.

However, the book overall is somewhat less than satisfactory. One reason for this is stylistic and structural. A mass of facts from various sources come so piled on top of one another that important events and trivial ones battle for attention. Each chapter spans a decade and is subdivided into headings such as 'Work', 'Sex' and 'Daily life'. This might seem logical but in fact makes for both repetition and omission.

A more important objection lies in the book's way of telling history. It seems to me incontrovertible that the history of women in the 20th century is one of progress, whatever the setbacks. There have been attempts at reversal of women's gains, and there are very real shortcomings to women's advance within the confines of a society based on production for profit. But there are so many areas where women's lives have changed for the better that women's advance is a truly remarkable feature of the century.

Sheila Rowbotham seems to shy away from such a conclusion: 'Rather than the image of linear progress or of those soundbite hoops, the history of women this century can be interpreted as a complex, sometimes conflicting quest for both personal and social balance.' Seen this way, describing which songs were popular during the Second World War becomes as important as the equal pay strikes of the 1970s, the sit down strikes of the 1930s in the US, the 1960s civil rights movement in America's South or the suffragette movement before 1914.

A Century of Women certainly takes this approach, incorporating large amounts of cultural description. But the two are not equal: one is a reflection of the world as it actually was at the time, the other portrays attempts to change that world­to challenge the priorities of the system, not simply accept them. Sheila's attempt to give both equal precedence means that in practice there is little sense of the dynamic of history and how women were part of changing their lives­just the endless descriptions which are so common in history writing today.

Of course there is nothing inevitable about progress. There have been battles throughout this century over issues from the vote to abortion to equal pay. There have always been significant forces opposed to such changes and none were awarded and maintained without a fight. Yet the majority of these battles have been successful and it is unfortunate that a historian who is so much and so clearly on the side of those fighting for change does not give them greater priority.

This leads to other political weaknesses in the book. Why in the list of prominent women, whose biographies are included at the back, do we get Virginia Bottomley and Ann Widdecombe? Are these really going to be among the 400 most remembered women of the century? And why do we not get here the working class suffragist Selina Cooper, or Genora Johnson who led the women's auxiliaries in the Flint sit down in 1937? Why do we get Lady Olga Maitland and not Ethel Rosenberg, executed in the US during the McCarthy era? And why are some of the best women fighters from our own times­night cleaners' organiser May Hobbs, Jayaben Desai from Grunwick and Ann Scargill­all missing?

Perhaps it is because there has been a retreat in politics over the past two decades which has affected socialist and feminist history. As Sheila Rowbotham herself puts it:
'"Women's history" developed out of the women's liberation movement and, in the early heyday of hope and activism, initially focused on the obvious­the suffrage or workplace militancy. It was when things did not seem to change so fast that hanging on began to gain respect; studies of survival and women's culture followed.'



However, 'hanging on' is not going to solve the problems facing the mass of women­struggles to change the priorities of class society will.



Despite its length and compass, those wanting to understand women's changing lives might do better to read some of Sheila Rowbotham's earlier books, such as Women, Resistance and Revolution or Woman's Consciousness, Man's World to see the dynamic of women's struggles.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Describing Myself from 3rd Point of View

Zulaiha. It is a common Malay name that people often heard at schools, malls and maybe on papers. It is also a name possessed by a 18 year-old girl, who is not as famous as Taylor Swift, or who ever on posters, but she is just an ordinary and modest girl, whose journey as a human has started since 12th June 1991. Born in small town in Johor on that beautiful Wednesday, She is the fourth out of five children in the family. Her parents named her Siti Nurzulaiha and later called as zulaiha, siti, nur, zul, jul and mico by family and friends.


When she was a small little girl, she was taught by her parents to be not a burden of people around her. There was an incident happened when she was 9. She left her shoes in school and then asked her childhood friend to accompany her to go there. They had to walk from their houses to school, that approximately 10km away, and after that, went back home by foot. Along the journey, they were nearly kidnapped and so on. When she came back home, her strict father awaited her with a cane. You could guess what had happened next. She had troubled her friend, she should pay for it. She could still remember vividly that unforgettable day. Being the youngest daughter is not always easy and could get have many privileges. Things that she possessed were not first-handed, and sometimes she could only have third-handed clothes. They are from her sisters. Her parents taught her not to be a materialistic and brand-conscious girl. Money is not like leaves and normally things that people want are not on the street, then, she tried her best to appreciate them.

Talking about her personality, she is neither angel, nor devil. The first impressions of people about her are “she must be arrogant”,”she is under estimating me” and whatever bad things. Even her friends sometimes are afraid to talk to her. Her small and single lid eyes maybe make her look like an arrogant, that is how she concludes. Maybe when she smiles, it looks like she is smirking. Or maybe she really thinks she is smiling but the truth is, she isn’t. Close friends and family know her best. She is not friendly to strangers, or even to new friends .She could be friendly and happy-go-lucky to the person who approaches her first. If communication is a compulsory subject in SPM, she would fail. Zulaiha could be an insane and witty girl if people know her better. She could never lose her sarcasm, like she always said “none of my friends has defeated me in tongue fighting”. However, she did it just for fun. She became prefect from she was in standard two until in form 5, and yet, she has a little confidence in herself. it maybe contradicts with her witty characteristic, but it is her ~afraid not to be accepted, afraid to fail, and afraid to be isolated.

Her passion is always art and maybe this keeps her mysterious. Since she was 3, she could draw, but it is not better as now. This is the talent she possesses. Sketching human figures, mimics, situations and stories are her area of expertise in drawing. She has a shelf of comics for her to improve her skills. Now, she has stopped collecting comics, and turned to funny videos. Collecting comics involves money, while videos not. Just download them through hostel Wi-Fi for free (she becomes so stingy lately). Music has also got her attraction. To quote, music is a food of soul. She feeds hers by listening the music she loves, for instance, music by Jason Mraz, Faizal Tahir,My Chemical Romance and many more. They are all entertaining and mind relaxing. If possible, art is the area she would choose for her future. Unfortunately, parents’ blessing is the priority. She once broke her mother’s dream to have a doctor in the family, when she filled the boarding school application form wrongly and went to technical stream. Well, past could not be changed, but future, yes. So she moves on.

She is now on her way to success. She has just realized that her success that she has achieved before is just a tiny little thing compared to what’s future has store in herself. Keep faith in myself, that is what a sentence she needs with a little courage to overcome the obstacles she might face. Receiving government scholarship is a bonus for her to help her parents, her study and herself. If she succeeds to fly to Germany for study purpose, that is maybe her beginning point to become a successful engineer. Let’s live the dreams!


this is the only picture left in my laptop, from facebook.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Desert Flower by Waris Dirie


Title         :Desert   Flower
Author     :Waris   Dirie
Publisher  :Virago   Press, 1998

How does the text relate to the theme of a journey?


Desert Flower, written by Waris Dirie and Cathleen Miller, is about a journey of a Somali girl ,who has been circumcised when she was a child and how she attempted to change her fate of living in nomadic way. The theme is women mutilation in Africa. At five, she was circumcised to become a woman. Luckily she survived from the circumcision, because her sister, Halemo bled to death. However, it was her starting point to suffer for the rest of her life. She felt pain every time she wanted to urinate and had worse period sick. When she fled to London and years after ,she involved in modelling, her genital problem made her feel ashamed and crippled. She determined to operate. The interview with Marie Claire gave her strong courage to tell the world the true story of her life, especially about female circumcision. Yet that was the beginning of her mission to fight against female genital mutilation.

2. What is the main issue in the text?

Waris, a rebellious little girl who initially excited to become a woman by circumcision, regretted to death when she experienced once. She did not get the leisure when she urinated and took long time. When she became an adult and educated, she knew that this African tradition is only to fulfill men’s desire, meanwhile women suffered the most. This kind of mutilation gives no good to female but several diseases , for instance, bladder infections, septicemia and recurrent urinary. Waris has fought for female’s rights against this traditional culture with her strong will, although she knew that she might be objected by her own people. She has suffered from mutilation and did not bear to look any other girl to face the same thing. She joined UN’s fight and encouraged the world to be on her side.

3. What quality do you admire or dislike in a character?

Waris is the woman i adore in this text. I couldn’t imagine how she could travel all alone in the desert without food and water. Being molested at four and nearly being raped at twelve made her feel strong and wanted to become without men. For me, she is no angel that had been commonly appeared in some cliche texts. She was an ordinary human who chased her dreams with courage and went through unbearable obstacles. Waris succeed, at last, to become a wealthy famous woman, however her down-to-earth personality amused me. Born as a nomad did not impede her to change her fate. Patience and self-trust in herself gave her the spirit to endure the pain until she became the UN’s Ambassador.

4. How does the text develop your understanding of the world?

When I read this novel, I couldn’t believe that this nomadic life is still existing in this world. I thought it was only happened in the past. Moreover,I could say that men abused women in this circumcision way just to fulfill their sex desire. Even the women could not do anything for the sake of their husbands. The obedience of women to their men is something that could be praised, but how come men do not see their sacrifices. One thing that has shocked me is the death of children due to this traditional culture. For the future sexual purpose, millions of female children died. This is absurd, but true. The circumcision is important to convince the bridegroom to have a virgin wife, but what is the importance of being a virgin, if the woman has to endure pain for the rest of her life? Moreover, she would never enjoy the sexual intercourse, meanwhile the husband would be happy all the time and to be worse, sometimes he married another “virgin” girl. This text teaches me that life is not always fair. Sex discrimination still exists nowadays. However, there are still some people who insist to halt this foolish ideology. Keep silent does not change anything. Lend a hand.

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah




Title       :Falling   Leaves
Author   :Adeline   Yen   Mah
London, M. Joseph, 1997

1. How does the text relate to the theme of a journey?


This book teaches about love, acceptance and betrayal. From the beginning of the text, the author, whose name Adeline narrates her childhood days as a girl, who was labelled as ‘bad luck’. Her fate became worse when his father married an Eurasian woman, Jeanne. She and her siblings were emotionally abused by their stepmother. As she grew up, she struggled to achieve success to impress her parents. Being a bright student was not enough to amuse them. She faced a lot of difficulties to be loved by her family, especially her father and stepmother. Although she has fulfilled all her parents’ needs and obeyed their orders, they were worthless when she was being stabbed from the back by her flesh and bones.

2. What is the main issue in the text?

The main issue of this book is love of the family. Family’s love was the strongest power for Adeline, yet she didn’t know that she was the only one who struggled for it. She might be fool to be a puppet of her Niang (her stepmother), followed Niang’s order to climb the stairs of her life, but her thought was reasonable ~she did not want to lose her beloved family, since she already knew that her Niang controlled her family’s bond. The love that Adeline longed for was the love that killed her heart at last, when she faced love’s most powerful murder, which is betrayal.

3. What quality do you admire or dislike in a character?

Adeline , the main character in text is the most adorable character of all. She went through hardship with patience and pure heart.Her supplement was not wealth and fame, but only love. I wonder how she could bear being a woman, whose her childhood days were destroyed by her cunning and vindictive stepmother , and when she became successful and affluent, she helped her stepmother without any avenged heart. Her story is greater than any Cinderella story ever published. This was not an exaggerating praise but her life’s story really tears my heart apart. Her compassion to the person who had ruined her life was the highest honour I could give in this text.

4. How does the text develop your understanding of the world?

The world is not as beautiful as what I have imagined. I never know that on the other part of the world, there is still people who do not know the value of family’s love. What she dreamt of was not exactly what she got. Reality hurts. This heart wrenching story helps me go beyond what it was written, and share Adeline’s feeling. I found it hurts a lot to be the one who demand for love that others do not want to give. Betrayal is the most dangerous thing that could kill one’s heart. Adeline shared her laughter with her family and lend hands to help when they were in trouble. Sadly, not all people who were being helped, remember her sacrifices. After reading this novel, I think I have to be cautious to every human I meet in this world. Her good deed encourages me to contribute without receiving the present.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Phrasal verb

verb + preposition/s
eg. : run down

run out of

run into



1. Guess who I ran into at the club!

2.She's always running down her husband.

3.I need to go to the market.I've run out  of oil,meat and rice.



Put in a suitable preposition in each space.



1. Hundreds of people turned up in the rain to see the celebrity.

2.Most of my time is taken up with answering the phone.

3.Don't be put down by the price,a cool $ 20,000.

4.Something funny is going on .

5.I think she made up the whole story!

6.Not many people turned up for the last lecture.

7.Don't worry,you can count on me.